she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
