so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
