got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
