these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize