New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
