we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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