you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
