i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
