Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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