i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
