Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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