He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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