I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.