nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!