Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
