We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
