puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
