I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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