Nicole vs. Life
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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