That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
