if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
