Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
