she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
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My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
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Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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