and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
