Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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