Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Found the puke drawer
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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