there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
