id be glad to
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
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Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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