Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
