Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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