she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
