Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
