Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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