dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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