I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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