Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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