maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
we should paint friendship bongs
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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