UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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