Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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