she woke up with a sticky ear
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
