Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Randomize
