Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize