you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
