i barfeds in our rink
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
