I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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