I just made out with a guy for $7.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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