Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
