The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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