exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
