this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
