last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
