even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
