May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
