tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
