I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
