I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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