Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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