I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
