new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
