did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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