I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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