I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
