help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
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