tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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