I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
