so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.