I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.