I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.