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• (361): View more from Texas

  I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.

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• (283): View more from Ohio

  $645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (210): View more from Texas

  My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Magyver!

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