Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.

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  (310): but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps. http://tfl.nu/w1cf
  Replies (37) Good night (6060) Bad night (1169)
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  (408): View more from California

  worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum

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  (408): worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum http://tfl.nu/fisn
  Replies (28) Good night (2862) Bad night (9300)
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  (818): View more from California

  I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.

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  (818): I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos. http://tfl.nu/bkr9
  Replies (23) Good night (5294) Bad night (1371)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.

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  (313): Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award? (734): She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy. http://tfl.nu/0kwr
  Replies (33) Good night (1080) Bad night (2906)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone

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  (303): she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone http://tfl.nu/1ml1
  Replies (20) Good night (1080) Bad night (6200)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.

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  (608): Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night. http://tfl.nu/vd8i
  Replies (4) Good night (2545) Bad night (1160)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.

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  (573): I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him. http://tfl.nu/m4j0
  Replies (3) Good night (1905) Bad night (1326)
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  (650): View more from California

  I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.

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  (650): I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever. http://tfl.nu/x84m
  Replies (15) Good night (2592) Bad night (649)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.

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  (618): I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low. http://tfl.nu/dyuf
  Replies (5) Good night (470) Bad night (1389)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.

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  (506): I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again. http://tfl.nu/wsg3
  Replies (2) Good night (1062) Bad night (502)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course

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  (612): It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course http://tfl.nu/673n
  Replies (2) Good night (1154) Bad night (410)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.

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  (832): And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking. http://tfl.nu/dun3
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (419)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.

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  (816): Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on. http://tfl.nu/u2o1
  Replies (13) Good night (1976) Bad night (474)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.

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  (903): I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot. http://tfl.nu/592z
  Replies (7) Good night (652) Bad night (261)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.

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  (404): Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack. http://tfl.nu/ljkk
  Replies (4) Good night (508) Bad night (198)

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