she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
