I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The feeling are messing with the penis
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.