Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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