i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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