I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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