but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
